The Work in a Relationship - John Burns

A great relationship requires great work. Great victory only comes with great war.

Proverbs 27 : 17

The work of relationship is to keep changing yourself. The principle is if you don’t give up, you will succeed one day. A great thing always needs work. It always takes persistence. We all have expectations, and a heart full of expectation is a heart full of life. However, there is a possibility of getting disappointed. But, disappointment doesn’t mean failure. Still, have a heart full of expectations!

What happens when expectation not met? Disappointment. We have to know how to deal with it so we will be able to overcome failures from the devil. Many people lower their expectation to anticipate disappointment, but this is not the right way. When you lower your expectations, you will end up existing instead of living. Do not lower your expectation, but instead, make it bigger! Learn to dream, it will lift your expectation. Don’t put up with less than the best.

One of the ways to deal with disappointment is through communication.

 1. No finger pointing or accusationIt is the worst weapon because it will build up a wall between your partner and you, higher and higher.You and your partner will no longer moving toward each other, but stop moving instead.2. No judging someone else’s heartYou have to separate someone’s behavior from the person, the person is not bad. There is a difference between the action and the heart. Believe the heart!

Face to face confrontation :Take the risk and talk with your partner if you’re sure. How?1. Timing is everythingDo not confront when you are both angry. Choose a good time, ask your partner if it is a good time or not. Then, prepare the heart.2. Compliment the personCompliment your partner first, don’t come with all of your confrontation. Build up the person first.3. State the fact, not pointing and judging4. Tell how you feelNo one will challenge you on how you feel.5. State your confidant in their heartDo you believe in your spouse?6. Give them suggestion of the answer7. Thank you! (one of the most important answer)NO ARGUMENT. Do not defend yourself, it will push the person further away.

Proverbs 9:7

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